'Messianic Rabbi': Send Us 10% Of Your Stimmy Check So Jesus Can Buy Himself Something Nice - Wonkette

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ReligionRobyn Pennacchia April 22, 2020 09:00 AM

When last we heard from Messianic Rabbi Curt Landry (that's a fancy way of saying "Jews for Jesus"), he was explaining how people should listen to Donald Trump about the coronavirus and not Anthony Fauci or any other doctors, because Trump was anointed by God and doctors were not. The week before that, Landry warned his followers not to take any COVID-19 vaccines once they come out, as they are all "from the pit of hell" and will be used to create a database of people who will be willing to take the Mark of the Beast.

This week, Rabbi/Pastor/Whatever Landry is doling out financial advice, explaining that the best way for those who are struggling financially during this pandemic to get out from under is to continue giving 10 percent of whatever their income is to the church — and that if they don't do that, it's like they're robbing Jesus, who needs 10 percent of their coronavirus checks to go buy himself something nice.

Pastor Curt Landry wants you give to church in a financial crisiswww.youtube.com

Transcript via Friendly Atheist:

The first thing you need to do is absolutely keep the first fruits of your giving and get that seed in the ground as soon as possible. So what first fruits is, is the first first fruit is tithing. You need to make sure that you tithe 10% of your income — and since I'm speaking to Life Church, that 10% needs to go into Life Church, okay? And I want to say this: That 10% spiritually doesn't belong to you, okay? The Lord gives that to you to sow back into the kingdom, okay? [...]
If you have a financial problem, yes, prayer is good. Yes, fasting is good. But what really causes financial problems to break is giving. And so if you'll follow the 10 percent to the Lord — don't rob — we're in Passover week right now. You can sow a seed into Life Church for Passover, okay? That's an offering. That's a first fruit of your increase over the 10 percent, and whatever that amount, there's not really a percentage on it. That's whatever the Lord tells you in your heart, okay?

Basically what Landry is saying is that it is better that some kids go hungry or people can't pay their rent or for other necessities than they skimp out on giving him/the church money, and that if they do that, they'll then have good luck with money? I guess? I'm not totally clear on how this works, to be honest. It seems like it might be a scam!

Landry is, of course, far from the only pastor out there denying the seriousness of COVID-19 while trying to turn a profit off of it. Pastor Tony Spell, who keeps getting arrested for not social distancing and nearly running people over with buses, has called on his followers to donate their entire stimulus checks to evangelical pastors.

And I'd feel really bad for those out there who listen to them, except that they're doing this of their own volition. They're adults. Are they being manipulated? Absolutely. But they're not being forced. Is the fact that Landry is out there telling them that not giving 10 percent of their income to the church is like robbing Jesus pretty gross? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, if they weren't giving these jerks their money, they'd probably be out spending it on Brooklyn Bridges and colloidal silver. Or on those multi-level-marketing leggings people keep going broke on. What can I say? There's a sucker born every minute.

[Friendly Atheist]

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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse